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(Photo Credit: @doramimy)

TOKYO, Japan (IG News) – Doraemon, beloved robotic cat from the future, confessed today, “I have ears, I have always had ears, and I regret hiding my ears for all these years.”

New York Times reporter Hiroko Tabuchi broke the story while investigating rumors Doraemon allegedly used Twitter to send photos of his “ear bulges” to young anime characters.

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” said a tearful Doraemon, “I have not been honest with myself, my family, my constituents, my friends.”

“Mmmphth,” said Hello Kitty, an alleged recipient of Doraemon’s lewd tweets, but had no further comment because she has no mouth.

“China invented ear bulges during the Han Dynasty,” commented Chinese historian Ting Budong, “and this invention is celebrated on the 4th day of the 6th month by all patriotic Chinese.”


In other news, punctuation is important: “the penis mightier than the S word.”


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